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Leave on the Lights

by Parker Ainsworth

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1.
you came and went like passing sunlight through the trees warming my lips and chest i ran toward your company the light was always strong though shadows raced so quick between shifting the focus far away from what we're born to be i'm lighting candles on an alter full of stones i close my eyes and hear you humming a new song i'll take a book to bed i'm going to be alone again tonight i leave on the lights over the mountains in the desert just beyond you bloom again with love rising like the morning sun i chose to let you go to know ourselves again and now i take the time to love myself as you once did i'm lighting candles on an alter full of stones i close my eyes and hear you humming a new song i'll take a book to bed i'm going to be alone again tonight i leave on the lights i'm lighting candles on an alter full of stones i close my eyes and hear you humming a new song i'll take a book to bed i'm going to be alone again tonight i leave on the lights tonight... i leave on the lights...
2.
under an april full moon i'm lookin up thinkin of you as feelings wash over and through under an april full moon oh i see your eyes within my heart beneath the soft blue light that's screaming even fools deserve another chance under an april full moon candles now light up a room with a smile you'll blow them out soon and i pray all your wishes come true i feel you from a distance now beneath a moonlit sky that's singing even angels have their work to do under an april full moon... i can't go to sleep though i'm deep in a dream of flying with you tangled with your mouth like vines round an old house in a moment of laughter smiling at all we've been through out of nothing comes everything new gracefully dancing in tune equally great as we move trusting the light of the moon i hear your voice upon the wind a gift that calls for opening and rising like a dozen white balloons under an april full moon under an april full moon under an april full moon
3.
me and momma drivin and i don't know why she's crying once again trees are passing by planes up in the sky and autumn wind as she reaches for the dial with the edges of a smile full of grace turning up the song so we both can sing along while dads away oh let go of what has been there's nothing there for you my friend i moved out to the city to be closer to the love that i had found the greatest one i'd ever known deserving of a scepter throne and crown but our fears became it all and like a shattered waterfall of glass and grey blessed mirrors that we'd been became reflections of two strangers gone a stray oh let go of what has been there's nothing there for you my friend oh let go of what has been there's nothing there for you my friend i cant believe all the pain we've caused delivered to the ones we love the most i didnt even know i didnt know how i had been acting out a ghost of all the ignorance i condemned now i can feel how hard it is when you live trapped by your judgements blinded by a fear of not knowing so now as i trust it all by choice and gratefully surrender to the source everything is perfect as it is all within a magic universe it's time to let go it's time to let go oh let go of what has been there's nothing there for you my friend oh let go of what has been there's nothing there for you my friend it's time to let go it's time to let go...
4.
i know i haven't been supportive in the past a dilapidated theater always threatening to collapse littered at the entry old ticket stubs and chewing gum and velvet rope stanchions then ushered us on once graciously invited toward the creaky seats every step taken a picture focused on the screen there projected in your eyes came alive the cruelest fears i'd grown to know in several life times as all the monsters of my doubts and criticisms screamingly clear attacking whats most close and dear yelling stop to the projectionist who slowly turned to hear my objections then when i finally met his gaze my stomach dropped miles below the floor, beneath his mask he wore my face surrendering to silence tears gushed in violence i felt toward myself which was the cause of this i saw i never wished to cast what's poisoned me into another soul especially yours, a goddess queen day after day i forgive myself for that if practice makes perfect i'm a forgiver, forgiveness now my craft as for the movie house inside my head that held the dark? i burned it down, built an amusement park inside my heart for all the roller coasters, carousels and ferris wheels serve to shake me from my memories and remember how real life feels...
5.
The Forgiver 03:35
you're forgiven for your anger forgiven for your fear forgiven for not listening with your heart but just your ears forgiven for the moments that you lost yourself in pain forgiven for the choices that you wish that you could change forgiveness courses through our hearts each moment marks another start believe we'll get a chance again when all has been forgiven   we are... forgiven for impatience forgive your own distrust forgiven for withholding gratitude from those you love forgiven for your judgments you can forgive your ceaseless mind  forgiven for forgetting who you really are inside forgiveness courses through our hearts each moment marks another start believe we'll get a chance again when all has been forgiven we are forgiven all we are forgiven... forgiveness courses through our hearts each moment marks another start believe we'll get a chance again when all has been forgiven in our hearts each moment marks another start believe we'll get a chance again when all has been forgiven       
6.
my favorite jeans are loosing their knees worked away slowly with comfort and ease a constant companion through think and through thin i've worn them for ages these jeans are my friend a reminder of people and places i've known these jeans have a history a life of their own as the colors fade steady with each passing day the past move farther and farther away i'd throw these old tattered blue jeans away if i thought that would free me from you but my mind's been a slave to the memories we made so i wait as they fade away too there's holes in my favorite jeans pockets everything that i put there falls through all the change i could spend on phone calls and candy ends up on the street before noon it's not that i don't think about maybe sewing my pockets up soon but forgetting what needs to be done is so easy when all i can think of is you i'd throw these old tattered blue jeans away if i thought that would free me from you but my mind's been a slave to the memories we made so i wait as they fade away too my favorite jeans are dying with them dies all that they knew in knowing forgetting could be all that simple and i might meet somebody new yeah i might meet somebody new

about

beginning as a breakup record
this has become a prayer that we choose to release what no longer serves our highest
and that we choose to initiate this release with love as the ultimate motivating force


thanks to: all my family both in the gene tree and beyond,
my strong knowing mother, my poetic jovial father,
my mega-talented, ambitious sister and her brilliant and kind husband, both of my wonderful and wise grandmothers (nana and tolly) and all the rest of the branches that have taught me so much, to raining jane for helping me back into the saddle of my heart with a divine chorus of forgiveness, to everyone at cafe gratitude for constantly reminding me of who and what i really am, to the onenest for being a sanctaury for my spirit cary,ryland,sara,trent,lydiamebutman,lizzy,avasa and matty, i love you more than words will ever explain, to agape, bhakti yoga shala and vipassana, to brother andrew for reminding me of the peace the lion within knows simply in being, to the trochta's for teaching me how to learn, andy morgan for always bringing me back into my heart, dawn and the desert sunrise that delivered me to this golden state, to black rock city and all the angels i've danced with out there, red lightning, to avari for integrating sound more deeply into everything i do, to seth, liz and johnna the power y'all represent to me is unstoppable, to kari & all of my old school plush family, my peeps at nomad sound... oh the warehouse days, to all my flipside crew especially stephanie, to all the farmers markets, to michael and everyone at mcguffin estates, to katie brauer for being awesome and re-inspiring the asana in my life, to all the jedis, to all my hellcat crew tawney, shawn, ashley,amir, rachelle and matthew, to the late nights at brasa, stronghold and witzend, to jessie my fellow shapeshifting griffin and her magical man justin y'all have taught me more than you're aware of, to miss alysse fischer you remind me that i'm whole as i am everyday shadows and all and i love you for that, to yoga collective for the invitation to return to the mat, to wes switzer for believing in this music and helpin me bring it to life on stage, to mr. az for continually inspiring me to greatness, to the makepeace brothas love y'all bigger than life and coner you've taught me more than you know about how to sport a black belt in keepin it real man, to sg!!! to peter harding beyond grateful for your vision and conversation, to schibes for calling me to the waves with a smile each day, to tyler & jesse my oldest la friends i want to see more of, to bryce and paul we've come a long way fellas, to all the occupy movements across the globe!!!! to everyone at the dock and all the other people that feel the waves where they rest there head, to the lioness that say opensesame at the gates of a closed heart, to the ocean the earth the sky and the fire within us all, and everyone and everything i’ve had the opportunity to love in this lifetime. with infinite gratitude, p

special thanks to colin gil for designing all this with so much style and dean bradshaw for taking the amazing picture on the inside of the sleeve

extra special thanks to the mothers of the world
for continuing to teach me the art of all arts, the art of listening and allowing what is and will always be to flow through freely

credits

released December 11, 2011

all songs written and arranged by parker ainsworth
produced by parker ainsworth and robin livingston
engineered by robin livingston at the birdhouse and owl mountain
additional engineering by sejo, casey hurt and wes switzer in various studios around los angeles
mixed and mastered by robin livingston
brought to completion by the greatness of spirit

parker ainsworth - vocals, guitar, piano, glockenspiel
robin livingston - piano, ambiance, wizardry
mona tavokoli - percussion, backup vocals
becky gebhardt - bass
mai bloomfield- backup vocals
chaska potter - backup vocals
robert powell - pedal steel
drew taubenfield - dobro
carl byron - accordion
alex kelly - cello

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Parker Ainsworth Los Angeles, California

“Parker Ainsworth has the voice of a man whose lived many lives in one lifetime. He’s a mystic wandering bard…you can hear the Texan smoke in his voice and his finger picking should be studied. He’s a painter with words and his palette is plentiful. I was a fan in an instant.” ~ NohoArtsDistrict ... more

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